CHICKEN NUGGITS

Life is interesting... Feelings are interesting... The people you begin to care for and the depth that it goes to is interesting... Listening about someone else who is acting on their feelings for someone who you have come to love. Is interesting. But how have i come to love this person and WHY WHY WHY am I so dang confused... Am I being a pansy by saying I don't want to ruin the friendship? That I want it to develop properly... I care about her more than she will probably know. I don't want to bombard her with my feelings or even tell her there is an inkling yet. She's being bombarded by other men and i don't want to be on the inside and hit her with the same thing and disorient her. I mean am i being a little bitch about it or am I actually doing the right thing for the friendship. Does she already know my feelings for her? She is very perceptive. But she's said in the past that she just sees me as a friend. We weren't talking about us directly but she used me as an example... AHHH WHY WHY WHY do i always fall for the ones who don't want me like that? I'd be great being her friend for the rest of my life. I just want her in my life as a friend at least. It's weird because i've never really wanted a friendship to last. There were those that I expected to last but once they dissipated i just let them go. I'd try for a second but then i'd let it be. This one i would try to hold on for as long as i could. If was finished i'd let it go but i would actually mourn this one for a while then move on in life. Here i am spilling my ish to the world. Really no one reads it but in the hopes that someone will and this will let them know they aren't alone in their constant relational confusion. I love her. There is no doubt... but WHY DID I FALL FOR HER!!!! JAKKA JAGGA JAKKA JAGGA!!!! If you read all of this then PLEASE give some insight from an outside view on a fuzzy situation. You don't know details but still anything will help lol. AHHHGH!! I kinda want to move on and just build the friendship and that be it. find romance somewhere else... UPDATE: FUCK IT.....